WUTHERING NOH
a ten minute play by Jacob Sexton
a short adaptation of Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights (1847) through the lens of asexual art, in the style of a Japanese Noh play.
The year is 1800. Or so.
On the back wall is painted the English Moors.
A moor is an area of open high land with poor soil covered with grass and heather.
The Chorus is upstage. They embody The Weather on this Wild, Stormy Countryside.
They also play instruments. And they give and take props to and from the actors as needed...
The actors wear beautiful early 19th century European costumes.
JO.
CATHERINE is on her deathbed, in a flowing Georgian dress.
HEATHCLIFF wears a billowing poet’s blouse and maybe a mask of actor Lawrence Oliver.
HEATHCLIFF
Catherine-!
CATHERINE
Oh Heathcliff-!
HEATHCLIFF
Don’t leave me..
CATHERINE
…
HEATHCLIFF
Life is just terrible. You are the only bright spot.
CATHERINE
..Do you love me, Heath?
HEATHCLIFF
Obviously!
CATHERINE
Is it?
HEATHCLIFF
I live for you. You are my heart.
You are my all consuming everything.
CATHERINE
Then why Heath
did we never fuck?
HEATHCLIFF
How vulgar! The censors—
CATHERINE
No but seriously if you loved me so
HEATHCLIFF
Love. Present tense. And future
CATHERINE
Want to fuck right now?
On my deathbed?
HEATHCLIFF
I really don’t. No.
I said Love - not lust..
CATHERINE
..Are you not attracted to me?
HEATHCLIFF
I am! Romantically!
and Aesthetically but /
CATHERINE
Well, if you don’t wanna fuck
How am I supposed to know that you love me?
HEATHCLIFF
Are you serious right now?
We’re soulmates! I am you and you are me.
We could talk endlessly, for eternity.
Only when in your presence am I at ease.
When I admire your beauty nothing else matters.
CATHERINE
…
If this were a novel
that’s when you’d kiss me.
HEATHCLIFF
Oh
CATHERINE
We’d have this long dramatic very overdue Kiss
finally! So romantic - and then I’d die.
HEATHCLIFF
I don’t want you to die
CATHERINE
I don’t want to live!
HEATHCLIFF
Why, Catherine?
CATHERINE
I married.. the wrong man..
HEATHCLIFF
Oh, I know.
I’ve been here the whole time.
CATHERINE
Well it’s your fault!
HEATHCLIFF
What-!
CATHERINE
You wouldn’t kiss me!
HEATHCLIFF
I did kiss you! Up on the ledge!
CATHERINE
..After I was already with Edgar!
You waited too long it was already too late—
HEATHCLIFF
I don’t understand
CATHERINE
We spent literally ALL of our time together, for years
Wandering the Moors, adventuring
But kissing me seemed the furthest thing from your mind
HEATHCLIFF
We were children!
CATHERINE
I kept waiting and waiting and
I thought you might be Gay
HEATHCLIFF
…
how is it possible
That I could feel for you this strongly
and yet you question if I’m even straight?
CATHERINE
And then we went to Thrushcross Grange
To tease Edgar and Isabella, you remember?
HEATHCLIFF
Of course. And their dogs attacked you
CATHERINE
I have the scars to prove it..
CATHERINE starts to raise her dress, seductively, revealing the scars.
HEATHCLIFF blushes and turns away, looking out the window—
HEATHCLIFF
And you stayed there with the Lintons for like five weeks
Life back at Wuthering Heights was just Miserable, waiting..
And then finally you returned - changed.
CATHERINE
..no longer a Virgin
HEATHCLIFF
I meant like - obsessed with money?
CATHERINE
I became a Woman
HEATHCLIFF
..is Sex the definition of adulthood?
CATHERINE
I waited SO LONG for you to make a move
but nothing nada
HEATHCLIFF
..I have more desire.. for Romance than Sex
CATHERINE
..me too..?
HEATHCLIFF
Wait - YOU could have kissed ME!
CATHERINE gasping!
Never! Be the MAN, Heathcliff.
HEATHCLIFF
What kind of Feminist are you-!?
CATHERINE
Listen, I was stuck at Thrushcross Grange
recovering from the dog attack
I had never seen so much wealth
I realized the potential for.. social advancement
And Edgar - he was like the opposite of you..
we fucked that first week -
and next thing you know.. we’re engaged..
HEATHCLIFF
Yeah. It seems that’s how it happens.
I find that really confusing.
CATHERINE
Oh, Heath - I never meant to hurt you.
I also thought we’d stay friends, so—
HEATHCLIFF
No! Don’t you dare - friend zone me !
Oh-my-god- the Friend Bomb -
…
What right did you have to throw away our love?
CATHERINE
…
HEATHCLIFF
Catherine..
CATHERINE
Oh Heath you just don’t get it..
Edgar’s family has a lot of money and you do not
I’m sorry to be so blunt but money is real
I mean, you of all people should understand—
You were homeless before my Dad adopted you..
Can you blame me for wanting to improve my situation?
And actually.. if you think about it..
since we grew up together..
It’s kind of like we are.. siblings?
HEATHCLIFF wailing in deep pain
AAAAHHHHHHhhaahahahAHHAAAAHhahaaAHHh
CATHERINE
Oh, Heathcliff-!
HEATHCLIFF weeps uncontrollably..
HEATHCLIFF
Why does it have to be this way.
Whyyyy?
HA.
CATHERINE is heartbroken from HIS pain, and SHE dies.
CATHERINE’s GHOST rises from her body - spirit leaving flesh - it’s Magical.
HEATHCLIFF
No no no NO
Don’t leave me behind! I can’t
I can’t go on without you-
Please spirit, Catherine, love, remain on Earth
Haunt me, drive me mad,
but do not leave me alone with you
CATHERINE’s GHOST
In death, we’ll begin our lives
Together.
HEATHCLIFF
Without a body..
Godforsaken human flesh
a cage for my soul - When free of thee,
then and only then can you and I truly be
Together.
CATHERINE’s GHOST
You are more myself than I am
Whatever our souls are made of - mine and yours is the same
Edgar’s is as different as fostering fire…
I am Heathcliff.
HEATHCLIFF
And I am Catherine.
CATHERINE’s GHOST
Until then…
HEATHCLIFF
My Love…..
KUY.
CATHERINE’s GHOST haunts HEATHCLIFF.
The Chorus performs The Arcade Fire’s My Body is a Cage.
HEATHCLIFF is so sad.
HE drinks and drinks and drinks.
Every bottle of spirit he finishes, he smashes.
HEATHCLIFF drinks himself to death…
As the song ends,
HEATHCLIFF’s GHOST rises from his body - spirit leaves flesh - it’s Magical.
The GHOSTS of CATHERINE and HEATHCLIFF meet !
And they dance.
THEY dance for eternity…
Together. in death, exploring and haunting the moors.
It is the most romantic non-sexual scene that has ever been put on the stage.
THEY are happy; The Weather calms; Wuthering Heights if finally at peace.
The GHOSTS of CATHERINE and HEATHCLIFF dance until the last audience member leaves.